Netflix Recommendation - Doctor Diaries

I recently came across a show streaming on Netflix that I think a lot of people would find interesting.  I know that a lot of my "medical friends" read my blog ("medical friends" being other student/resident wives, etc) so I think that they especially would appreciate it (although, even if you have no close ties to the medical community, I think it's worth watching).  It's called "Doctor Diaries", and it's a show done by Nova (PBS).  It follows a group of medical students who started Harvard Medical School in 1988 and follows them until 2008.  It's fascinating, and even Garrett enjoyed it.

It shows them in medical school: sitting in lectures, studying for hours on end, taking boards.  One of the students talked about how every single day, he sets his "timer" for 6 hours, and that's how long he studies each day.  If he gets up to get a snack, use the bathroom, etc... he turns off the timer until he comes back to his desk.  Can you imagine??  I mean, I can, because I saw Garrett go through it and I'm so glad those days are over.  But wow.

It shows them during 3rd and 4th year, going from rotation to rotation trying to figure out what specialties would be the best "fit" for them.  It shows them on Match Day, receiving their envelopes and finding out where they will spend their years of internship and residency.... there were a variety of specialties they chose so it was interesting to see who chose what and where they were headed.

Watching them during their internships was probably the hardest part.  You could just see the terror in their eyes, and the total exhaustion that they were feeling.  It was tough to see, actually, especially since it hit close to home and you could really feel for what they were going through.  One intern said, "It's gotten to the point, where... it's not that I don't care about patients, but that the fact that I care about patients becomes less important than the fact that I am absolutely strung out and absolutely can no longer think anymore. I forget simple, basic things..... and that happens a lot."  Ah, the memories of Garrett coming home from work during those rotations.  The sheer exhaustion... a couple times he didn't even remember driving home from the hospital, he was so tired.

Some of them got married, so it showed weddings and some of their personal lives as well.  I was especially interested in the little interview segments they did with some of the wives.  One wife said (I actually went back and re-watched this part so I could get it right), "He doesn't have much time to do anything anymore.  He doesn't really read, he doesn't get to go out too much, he's so exhausted.  He's actually a pretty hyper person by nature, actually, and to see him so worn out... he's just sort of a shell.  I mean, what I get is lousy.  The best part of him goes away early in the morning, for the whole day, and then when he comes home, what do I have?  He's this tired, grouchy... thing!"  Oh man, I remember those days I am so glad they are OVER!  For now, anyway, they are over.  Hopefully it won't get that bad again!

Even one of the interns says in his interview, "If you are a needy person, and you need attention and support from your spouse, you're probably not going to be happy married to a doctor."  Very true!  I know many women married to doctors, and all of them say the same thing: live your life! Get some hobbies you can do to fill your time. Do fun things, plan things, attend family reunions, BBQ's, events with friends, and family vacations.  If your husband can join you, great, that's a nice perk.  If not, well, ..that's expected.  Husband home on Christmas day?  Lucky you!! :)

Anyway, I think it's a very fascinating show and I recommend it to anyone in the medical field, or married to the medical field, or even if you are just curious about what doctors go through.  However, I should warn you that I if I had to summarize the whole show in one word, it would be, "depressing". (And if you read the reviews on Netflix, many agree with that.)  Over half the doctors were divorced by the end (including the doctor whose wife gave the quote above).  You could tell that some were unhealthy because they didn't have time to take care of themselves.  By the end of the show a couple of them didn't even seem very happy at all, actually.  They seemed lonely.

One thing that I do wish they had talked about (but didn't) is the massive debt that they had incurred (I assume).  I got the impression that at least one of them graduated without any debt, but that couldn't have been the case with all of them.  I wish that in the 2008 segment they would have told us if they were still paying off loans, how much they had incurred, etc.  I wish they had talked about how big their monthly payments are, how that hinders their budget, lifestyle, etc.  Most of the girls I know whose husbands are done with residency are still living on a very strict budget because they are paying several thousand dollars a month paying back their loans from medical school.  I am a member of a Facebook page for ladies who are married to med students/residents/practicing doctors, and this is a huge topic of discussion.  Many of them have stated that they are well into the 200k, some over 300k in student loans from medical school.  Very scary, especially since some specialties really don't make all that much money (some do, of course, but some really don't).  It takes decades for some people to pay off their loans.

Anyway, it's streaming on Netflix so it's easy to find.  You'll want to see it if you are attached to the medical field at all, and even if you aren't you will probably think it's pretty fascinating.  I hope this post didn't come across sounding like I was complaining about this life, the life of being married to a doctor.  I am not complaining.... I simply see all these things as facts.  It's a fact that medical school was really rough, and that we have a LOT of student loans, and sometimes they terrify me.  It's a fact that being married to a doctor is tough on a marriage, and that sometimes Garrett is not at all like the person I married (I like how the wife in the show called her husband a "shell"... I think that defines it well.).  (Thankfully, that last part has gotten a little better now that Garrett is doing just his chosen field each day, rather than rotating through specialties he doesn't prefer.)  But the other fact is, I chose this life.  I knew when we started dating that Garrett wanted to be a doctor.  Did I have any idea what I was in for?  Heavens, no.  I don't think anyone really does.  But, that's one reason I enjoy hanging out with my fellow med wives so much.  It's a nice community to be in because we understand each other and what it takes to live this life.  We understand what it's like to spend week nights, weekends, holidays alone.  We can stick together during the hard times.

(But finally, a disclaimer about Doctor Diaries... during the first 20 minutes or so, it shows them working on cadavers.  If you are squeamish, you'll want to skip that part!  Personally, I didn't think it was too bad because they looked kind of fake, but Dad, you probably wouldn't agree!) :)

If you do watch it, I'd love to hear your opinion of the show.  I hope it doesn't depress you too much.