What ARE you?

Last week three young men (early 20s) came to my door trying to sell me magazine subscriptions.

I really dislike door-to-door salespeople, especially obnoxious ones like these. The one guy who did all the talking just kept joking around and I didn't even know what he was selling until about 4 minutes into the visit.

"What kinds of magazines do you like reading?" he finally asked.

"Umm... well, I like reading whatever I can get for free from the library."

"Well, what do you like? Redbook? Cooking magazines? Reader's Digest?"

"Well, I DO like Reader's Digest." I have no idea why I said this, because I had absolutely no intention of buying a magazine subscription from him. They were selling them to go on a trip to Mexico, for heaven's sake. It wasn't even a charity.

"Oh, well I can get you a subscription to RD for $30 a year."

"No thanks," I said, "A couple years ago I got a subscription for $10, so I don't think I'll ever get one again unless it's that low. Or, I'll just keep looking for it at the library."

He continued to try to sell it to me, but I really had no interest in buying. I told him that my husband is in medical school, so we're on a tight budget, yada yada yada.

"Medical school? Oh, come on, you guys will be rolling in the dough someday, you don't have to be worrying about money right now!"

I think I was too insulted to say anything to that, so I just smiled and said, "Not today, thanks." He kept trying to convince me that I didn't have to pay him any money that day at all - I just had to sign up for the subscription and the magazine would come. He wasn't fooling me.

"Well," I said, "I don't have to pay you NOW, but eventually I will get a bill in the mail, right?"

"Well... yeah I guess." He said. Then he continued, "Well, do you support the troops?"

"Sure."

"Well, you can order a magazine subscription for them, and the magazine can be delivered to them overseas."

"But... I'd still have to pay for it, right?"

".........yeah..... but you don't pay anything now!"

"Right," I felt like I was talking to a kindergartner and I probably sounded like it, too, "But eventually I will have to pay something, correct?" No wonder so many people are up to their ears in debt - they listen to people like this guy!

He just would not let up, so finally I just used my excuse that I give everyone when I want to get out of buying something. It works every time and there's really nothing they can say to refute me:

"Well, you know what, even if I wanted to buy a subscription from you, I'd need to talk to my husband about it first, since we are on a budget."

The guy looked at me for a second, then said, "What are you, MORMON??"

My jaw fell open. "Excuse me?" I laughed a little too, because I was so shocked. My thoughts started running a thousand miles a minute. I tried to think of all the Mormon stereotypes I knew about, and I just couldn't think of any that I had just portrayed.

I think the guy noticed that I was a little taken aback, and maybe a little offended, and he quickly said, "Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Mormons" (what does that even mean???) "and I sold subscriptions in Utah for a while, and that's what all the wives said to me."

Anyway, I told him that yes, I was a Mormon, and I would have to talk to my husband about it. He just would not quit.

"Well... you can sign up now for the subscription, and then tonight you can talk it over with your husband, and that way you will have talked about it before the bill comes."

Wow, this guy was not letting up. Finally it must have gotten through his thick head that I was NOT going to buy anything, and they left. Whew, I always knew that salespeople were determined, but that was incredible.