Will someone please tell me how to motivate myself to get anything done when Garrett is not around?
It's interview season: Garrett has been traveling the country, trying to find the place(s) where we will live for the next 5 years. It's a very exciting time for us but I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to get things done.
Since November 30, Garrett has spent a total of, oh, 4 nights at home. (Ok, when I actually figure that out in my head, it's not that bad). He'll be back on Saturday, thankfully, and will have TWO WEEKS OFF, which I'm really looking forward to.
But tell me: how do you motivate yourself to get things done when your husband isn't coming home from work that night, or even the next day for that matter? I love when Garrett calls me when he's on his way home from school because that's my cue to run around the house and clean everything up so he can come home to a clean house. It's also my motivation to have a nice dinner in the works, and have the table set.
But that call doesn't come much anymore, so the house goes undone. Dinner is an afterthought. I don't even know how many times I've fed Abby cheese quesadillas, spaghetti-o's, or a sandwich for dinner (thank goodness for gummy bear vitamins, right?). I eat whatever I can scrounge up after she goes to bed - usually a sandwich or maybe a sweet potato and a salad.
I don't like going to bed alone (ok, let's face it, I don't usually like going to bed at all), so I stay up until midnight at least, sometimes 1. When Garrett was in Arizona/Utah I was up until 2 a.m. many nights, waiting for him to Skype with me.
One thing I hate about blogging (or, any writing for that matter) is that my tone can't come across right. I'm NOT complaining. Just trying to find out how people motivate themselves when they don't have a spouse to keep tabs on their daily progress. No one coming to the house to see if you've vacuumed, or even gotten out of your pajamas.
Sure, I could go on many of the trips with Garrett, but the truth is I just don't feel like it. If we had only an infant, it would be much more feasible. Abby is an excellent traveler but I would hate to ruin that by sticking her in a car for days on end, sleeping in random hotel rooms and then just doing it all over again. That, and I really dislike sharing a bedroom with my kids - no one sleeps well. We'll be doing that enough over Christmas break.
So anyway... any advice? I know most of you will want to say, "just do it for YOURSELF, so that YOU feel better." Meh, ok. But I'm not feeling bad, just unmotivated. How do military wives deal with this??
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I'm the complete opposite. As soon as Mark leaves the house for more than a day, I scuttle around cleaning everything. Especially our bedroom, because I know with him gone it'll actually stay clean. :)
I don't think I could find the motivation either. Mike only has one out of town conference a year and the whole place goes to pot in a matter of hours.
I always clean up before Mike gets home, too. When I know he won't be here I don't even care.
well i have never tried this but a friend of mine swears by it. go to a website called flylady.com. i have looked it over and sounds like it has some really great suggestions. i have a hard time staying motivated too, until a point. you know the one where you can't tell if you have carpet or not because it needs to be vaccuumed so badly... then i turn into a crazy lady.
also, i've found having friends over does help. you are then accountable to someone!
Ritter has been gone to various places almost two and a half out of the five years that we have been married. I totally agree with Aleasha, having friends/play dates at your house helps. I have also found that hanging a big colorful chart with a schedule helps me. It sounds silly and under normal circumstances is may be, but having the physical reminder really helps me stay on track.
You're also stuck in the hardest part of your husband being gone, after 2-3 weeks of him solidly being out of town you snap back into real life. Give yourself a break and realize sometimes something has to give. In the long run, you'll never remember that one day (or even week if you're using paper plates) the dishes didn't get done but everyone remembers not spending enough time playing with their kids.
I think I have the opposite problem when Mike works from home some days. I don't like to be "watched" during my day. He doesn't hover over me or really get involved in what I am doing, it is just the feeling like I should be doing something every single second that is exhausting. I know it is just in my head, but it drives me crazy. I agree with the previous poster, Stephanie. Give yourself a break. You'll get back into your swing when he returns.
But yeah, the house better be clean when I get home
Garrett you crack me up!!! :)
I suffer from the husband gone syndrome in the summers. Having people over helps, I agree. I really like Marie Ricks' method of having a schedule of what you do each day. (am I saying I stick to this-- no? But sometimes I look at my house after a few days of neglect and get overwhelmed wondering how I am getting it back into shape-- and then her method really comes in handy.) her web site is www.houseoforder.com
in a nutshell, you have items of housework you do each day of the week. that way it doesn't have to get clean all at once in one day. steadily each day that week, something gets accomplished.
Post a Comment