Book Review

"5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges" by Richard and Linda Eyre.

I'm sure that some people will be let down a bit by this book review (it's not a thrilling novel or an interesting biography, or even a chick lit).  But, if you have kids now, or will have kids someday, this is definitely a must-read.  This isn't your typical parenting book (and I've read a few).  You should see my copy of this book - it's highlighted, full of folded pages, and there are notes strewn throughout the sidebars.  I read it in two days, then went back and read it again more slowly so that I could really take it all in.

First, let me say - I just love the Eyres (the authors of this book).  They have written many parenting books throughout the years (my parents owned a few when I was growing up), and they are all good.  The Eyres are the ones who invented Joy Schools, and their own daughter is actually one of the founders of  "Power of Moms" (an LDS-based womens organization).  One of their other daughters was also just named the national "Young Mother of the Year" - I have been following her blog here for quite some time now (it's very inspiring!).  Linda and Richard Eyre travel the world giving parenting lectures and classes, and have even worked in Washington D.C. on political campaigns.

So, anyway, about the book.  I'm not going to lie - it didn't sound all that interesting to me at first.  Spiritual solutions for everyday parenting challenges?  I mean, I figured it would just talk about the importance of family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, etc.... things we all know are important.  I just didn't think it would be very interesting.  That's all stuff we've heard before.  I wanted the day to day stuff like how to keep your kids in time out, and how to keep your kids from having meltdowns in public.  Ooh, and how about, how to keep your kids from whining.

But, the reviews online were extraordinary, so I gave it a go.  And I'm so glad I did.  I'm going to just go ahead and tell you the 5 solutions that they share, and give a little synopsis of each one.

Remember your children's true identity.  As Latter-day Saints, we believe that we are literally children of our Heavenly Father.  We believe that we lived with Him before we were born.  That means that we are all brothers and sisters, which means that our children are our brothers/sisters as well.  The Eyres use the phrase "spiritual siblings", which I think is perfect.  I really like this quote:

"We need to understand that we are not starting from scratch.  We are not their creators, or their makers, or their owners, nor are we fully responsible for all that they are."

Our children are who they are.  They have their own destinies and foreordinations.  As parents, it is our job to teach them and nurture them, and provide the best care possible (and yes, this includes discipline of course).  We do not own them - rather, our Heavenly Father has entrusted them to our care, for a time.

Another thing from this section that really stood out to me was when they talked about how we treat our children.  "When we disrespect our children, we are forgetting that they are our spiritual brothers and sisters, and that they have placed unbelievable trust in us by coming, as helpless infants, into our homes and our care, hoping we will guide and teach them and lift them toward happy adulthood.  We are forgetting that they could just as well be our parents! ...This doesn't mean we don't discipline or correct them, or have high expectations of them.  But it does mean that we try to do each of these things with gentleness, with perspective, with patience, and with respect."

This is such an important concept.  It really bothers me when people say rude things about their children (or TO their children!), or call them names.  Sure, I've been frustrated with my kids and shared those frustrations with friends or family, but I would never dream of calling them names or making fun of them.  I just love how the Eyres remind me of why this is so important - our kids are our spiritual siblings, our equals!  They share so much more on this topic.

Okay, this blog post is going to be really long if I keep going on like this, so I'll keep the rest of the points shorter!

Second, Remember God's parenting patterns.  This section is about unconditional love, treating our children as individuals, trust, stewardship, prayer....  so, so many more.  Fifteen total, actually.  First the Eyres list these parenting patterns, with a short explanation of God's parenting pattern, and then they go back and share actual, in-depth everyday applications for each of these patterns.  Very informative, very interesting.  I really loved this section, too.

Third, Remember your direct channel to the Father.  This, of course, is talking about prayer.  Like I mentioned above (and they say in the book), we are merely "mortal babysitters", and we can appeal directly to our Heavenly Father for help!  The Eyres share a lot of interesting methods for prayer that really got me thinking.

Fourth, Remember the Church's "scaffolding".  Basically, we need to take advantage of all the wonderful programs and support that the Church offers to families.  They say that sometimes "others can teach our kids better than we can".  This is definitely true - as a teenager, it was always easier to listen to another adult's advice over my parents'.  I think this is true for most teens. There are so many people in the Church who we should be able to count on to help us teach our children - youth leaders, teachers, Home Teachers, etc.  It's so awesome!

Fifth, Remember the Savior's power.  Christ should be our family's foundation.  This chapter is mostly about using the Priesthood in our homes.  Lots of great thoughts here.

I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface in talking about this book... there is so, SO much more inside and I can't recommend it highly enough.  It's really changed my attitude toward parenting and given me some great insights.  I plan to read it several more times over the course of my kids growing up.

If you aren't LDS ("Mormon"), I'll be honest and say that you might not really understand everything that being talked about, since there is a lot of doctrine that the authors assume you know, so they don't go into too much depth with some stuff.  However, if you'd like to read it, you definitely should, and I'd be happy to answer any questions about anything that might be confusing at first.

You can buy the book on Amazon, and I'm pretty sure you can also get it from Deseret Book.  It's that good.  If you don't need it (don't have kids at home), give it to someone who does!

If you do read it (or if you have already read it), please let me know what you think about it.

The Eyres have another book coming out in September called "The Entitlement Trap".  You can read about it here on Amazon.  I've already pre-ordered it and you can bet I'll let you know how it is.


It should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway: The Eyres have no idea who I am and I'm not getting paid for this review.  I'm just a groupie. :)