Day 31 - Free day - Money Talk

I have always struggled with keeping track of our money.  I don't balance a checkbook, I don't have spreadsheets to tell me how much money we have.  Don't get me wrong, we've never over-drafted or gone into credit card debt. Throughout our married life I always just had a "spend as little as possible" mentality.  Each semester (during medical school) we'd get a huge lump sum of money (aka student loan) into our bank account and we'd just spend as little of it as possible and hope it lasted until the next installment (thankfully it always did).  I enjoyed getting money that way (well, not the loan part obviously).  I like have a big cushion of money to draw from and having a large amount of "padding" in case of an emergency.  Don't think, however, that this meant I could go out and spend money willy-nilly.  Haha, I wish!  But Garrett was very firm in the fact that this was not our money, so we couldn't go out and spend it on wants.  It was for needs only.

However, it was really frustrating because sometimes there's a fine line between "need" and "want", and Garrett and I frequently disagreed on this line.  Did I need to buy a few baskets/bins to put loose office supplies in?  According to me, yes I did.  Garrett disagreed.  Did I need to drive 5 miles to go running at a certain location, or could I have saved the gas money and just run in our neighborhood?  Do I need to buy paper towels?  Not when a washcloth will do.  Did I need to put 2 little shelves up on Abby's wall, or could those things have just sat on the floor or gone in a drawer? (or, if Garrett got his way, we would have gotten rid of that stuff). Did I need to put cheese in this recipe, or could we have saved the $3 and just gone without? (haha okay, the cheese thing happened while we were at BYU.  And it was actually me saying we couldn't afford it.  We couldn't!)

I'm not saying all those things to complain, but to just make a point that Garrett and I had very different views of "needs" and "wants" so it was difficult a lot of times.  Of course, sometimes I still spent money on clothes, shoes, and fabric that I didn't "need", don't think I was completely deprived.  But it was still hard and we learned a lot about ourselves (and each other!).

So now, I can't even tell you how thrilling it is to be getting a paycheck every two weeks!  It's not a ton of money but it's enough, and we finally got the chance to sit down and create a monthly budget.  Garrett asked me last week if I'd ever heard of the website mint.com.  To his delight, I already had a membership, haha.  I actually joined 2 years ago but never did anything with it because it's all about money management and since we didn't really have an income, there was nothing to really manage (remember, beforehand it was just a "spend as little as possible" mentality.).  Mint is nice because you input your bank information and your credit card information, and it puts all your transactions in one nice spreadsheet (or you can see them separately if you want to).  And yes, it's a secure website so everything is safe (presumably... I mean, I've had my info in there for over 2 years now and it's been fine). Note: this is not an advertisement for Mint.com, I'm just sharing something that's been working for us!

So, last week we updated our Mint account and created a budget using their really neat graphics (bar graphs, pie charts.... it's awesome!).  Here's the breakdown of how we decided to budget our money:

Tithing: 10%

Heath Insurance: 12%

Rent: 27%

Savings: 20%

Internet/Utilities: 7.5%

Food/toiletries: 7.5%

Gas: 3% (this is not nearly enough $$ for this month, Garrett has been working 20 miles away!)

Car insurance: 3% (our premium is only due 2x per year, so this 3% added up over 6 months will equal the premium)

Potential car payment: 6.9%

Vacation/trips: 1.5% (mostly just gas money to pay for trips to temple, visit family, etc.  The amount we don't use will roll over into the next month, and I'm really hoping that by springtime we'll have enough for a trip to FL to look for housing, without having to dip into our savings for it)

Dr. appts: 1.25% (supposed to cover co-pays, etc.  Another rollover amount, so hopefully soon we'll be able to afford some trips to the dentist since we don't have dental insurance!) :)

Eating out/date night: 1.25% (aka once, MAYBE twice a month depending where we go)

Gifts: .6% (that's POINT six, don't think I'm spending as much on presents as I am on food, although I wish I could!  This is another rollover category, hopefully by Christmas we'll have a nice little amount of money to spend on gifts for people)

Clothing/Home decor: .6%.  (yes, another POINT 6!  It's not enough by any means, so this is supplemented with some of my piano lesson money)

Fast food: .3% (this doesn't seem like a legit category to me, but sometimes we need to drive through somewhere, like if we are on a trip or something.  So, I added it in the budget.)

"Extra" money not included in the budget: $2 per month :)

When we were creating our budget on the website, you don't actually put percentage amounts for each category, you put dollar amounts - I just did the percentages to give you an idea of how we've allotted everything. But I have to say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a line in the budget for "gifts".  And "clothing".  And "date night"!!  We never had these before for obvious reasons.  We went on real dates a couple of times, but it was only if it was our anniversary or birthday or something.  Yes, we are lame but some people couldn't justify using loan money for fun things (I love you, honey!). :)  So, having money now to buy all those "extras" feels like SUCH a luxury, even if it isn't a lot of money.  It's something!!  I do wish, however, that there was a bit more money for some fun things (like personal money for each of us), but oh well.  That's what my piano lesson money is for I guess.

Yesterday we went to the temple in D.C. and stopped for some fast food on the way home.  And, last night I got an email telling me I had gone overbudget on my fast food for the month already!  Haha whoops!!  This month has been difficult food-wise because Garrett hasn't been working much at the hospital (where he gets free food).  So, we love the website to say the least, and there are some other neat features that we haven't even really looked at yet.  

We decided to put 20% in savings because we are working on our 6-month emergency fund.  We'll also be moving next June and hopefully buying a house then, so we're saving up for all of those expenses as well.  In October and December and April, Garrett will get THREE paychecks (5 Fridays!), and since our monthly budget only uses two paychecks, we will (hopefully) be able to put three entire paychecks into savings, which will be great.  

So, that's how we're doing money-wise!  Now we're just crossing our fingers that we can actually defer the student loans throughout residency.  It used to be pretty standard, but the rules have gotten a lot stricter so it's actually quite difficult to qualify for that.  But I'm pretty sure we'll be okay.

(Why am I pretty sure?  Well, Garrett went to a financial aid seminar last spring at his school, and they were telling the students that hardly anyone can defer.  Someone asked them, "who exactly can defer?" And they were told, "Well.... say you have two kids.... and your wife stays at home.... things like that.  But really, who wants to be in that situation??")

Day 30 - The friendliest person I knew for one day

Okay, some of the other topics have been a bit challenging, but this is downright difficult.  The friendliest person I knew for one day??  First of all, I don't have the greatest memory.  Secondly... well I just can't think of anyone.  So, I'll just list some friendly people I have come across:

The man who switched seats with Garrett on one of our flights last spring.  I booked all our tickets together, but for some reason the airline put Abby and me together, and Garrett in the row behind us (in a middle seat).  So, there I was sitting in a window seat with Ellie on my lap (and she was being extra squirmy, you know how they are on airplanes!) and Abby next to me, with Garrett alone behind us (trust me, I offered to sit alone instead of Garrett, but I knew that wouldn't work.  I knew that wherever I sat, I would have Ellie on my lap, so I figured I would rather sit between Abby and a window rather than two strangers).  Anyway, the man who was assigned to sit in the row with us switched seats with Garrett so that he could sit with us.  I was so grateful.  It was a long flight (3.5 hours) and I needed all the help I could get!

Another nice person was a flight attendant who took pity on me.  This was a different trip, but I had Ellie on my lap and Abby next to me, and we were on a plane where each person had their own tv screen.  Woo hoo!  However, I was disappointed to find out that you could only watch something if you pay $5, which I was not about to do.  But what do you know, a flight attendant came over to me and said I was a "preferred" customer and then she swiped her special card on my screen so it would work!  Hallelujah, it was great.

Hmm... I'm trying to remember more examples but this is all I'm coming up with right now.  But, the older I get the more I notice that the world really is full of nice, genuine people.  Sure, there are some bad seeds or whatever, but most people we come across every day are just people, just like us, with a lot of the same desires, fears, and doubts that we have.  Most people are nice, even the ones who don't seem nice at the time we meet them... maybe they are just having a bad day.  Perhaps I have rose-colored glasses on but I like them and I'm not planning on taking them off any time soon.

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Up tomorrow: Free day

Day 29 - Color spectrum test

So, instead of talking about my favorite colors I'm going to refer you all to take this color spectrum test.  If you have a few minutes, click on the link and take the test to see how well you see different colors.  It's challenging!

The score goes from 0 to 99, and the lower your score is, the better.  I got a 12.  You can even see (below) which spectrums of color I "struggled" with.  Looks like blues and greens get me all mixed up!

What was your score?

Ok, and if you must know.... I really like blue.  And pink.  And recently I'm really liking kelly green.

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Up tomorrow: The friendliest person I knew for one day. (??????)

Day 28 - Favorite places to shop

I love Target.  Maybe it's cliche for a twentysomething mom to love Target, but I do and I probably always will. I like their clothes (sometimes), their home decor, their diapers.  If I could only shop at one store for the rest of my life it would have to be Target.

I have also recently come to really love TJ Maxx and HomeGoods.  Now that I have a few extra dollars each month to spend on non-essentials, it's really fun to go shopping there and pick out some things for our house.  Many people think that TJ Maxx is full of clothes that didn't sell and other stores, and that everything is so last season (not that that matters to many people, including me), but that isn't even the case!  Once department stores have bought all the merchandise (from the designers) they want, the designers sell the "extras" to TJ Maxx, Marshalls, etc.  Most of the time they are in the discount stores at the exact same time as the department stores.  And if something IS "last season", it's marked as such.  And they get new shipments every week, so there's ALWAYS an excuse to go. :)  Not that I need an excuse (well, I need an excuse to tell Garrett why I'm going.  I certainly don't need an excuse to get me there).

Many people ask me where I buy my clothes, and I have to say it's a good mix of TJ Maxx, Target, Gap.  I can't remember the last time I actually paid full price for any article of clothing, even at Target.  I always go straight to the clearance section at each store and don't usually look through the full-price items at all.  Same goes for shoes.

Oh and back to TJ Maxx, Marshalls, etc.  Did you know that those stores sell more than just clothes and home furnishings?  They have TONS of random stuff - nice head phones, luggage, shoes, even some food (although I'll admit I've never bought food from there.... I feel sketchy just looking at all those dusty jars of tomato sauce and fancy olives.  But, I'm sure they're fine.).

And I'll admit, I really, really love shopping at upscale grocery stores.  Oh, did I say "shopping"?  I meant, wandering the aisles and wishing I could buy stuff.  I just love fancy food.  Fresh Market, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods.... I love them all.  I'm a yuppie like that, I guess.  But I will say, while I'm not shelling out extra money for "organic" foods just yet, I am being a lot more picky lately about what I feed myself and my family. Just being more conscious of what we eat (the preservatives, additives, etc).  But yes I still feed my kids Goldfish (and I love them, too).

Online, I like to shop at Amazon and etsy.com.  I love etsy and I love handmade items, and I love to support artists and the "little people".

Ikea is great, but unfortunately I've never lived close to one. Costco is cool, I wish I had a membership.  I also really love bookstores but I never buy anything, I just like to browse and make a library list.

I wish I could find great things at yard sales and thrift stores, but I'm not one of those people that really loves thrift stores so I tend to stay away.  Maybe that sounds snobby but I can't leave a thrift store without feeling like I need to take a shower.  Yard sales are okay.  I don't go to them too often, and when I do I leave my purse in the car.  So far, nothing I've seen at a yard sale is worth the energy of walking back to the car to get my purse.

Where do you like to shop?

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Up tomorrow: Favorite color (what is this, third grade?  I might choose to just have a free day and blog about something else.  We'll see.)

Day 27 - A talent of mine

I don't really know how I feel about this category.  I mean, I'm supposed to list all my talents??  Sounds a little like showing off.  But, since that's pretty much what blogging is, I guess I'll have to indulge you all.  But just know that I don't like it!  I don't like to toot my own horn, you know.

Okay, was that convincing enough?

I am decent at playing the piano and organ.  During my senior year of high school I was one of the organists in my ward, and it was really nerve-wracking but it was good for me I think.  Then I got to BYU and realized that I'm actually not very good at the piano (compared to everyone else), so I didn't play for a really long time.  Now I play a lot for fun and started teaching piano lessons.  Don't love that too much, but I'm not going to lie, I love the extra money so it's worth it.

One of my roommates used to always compliment me on being tactful.  I don't know if many people consider that a talent, but I do.

Along those same lines, my boss at the BYU library used to always tell me how good I was at.... talking about things I know nothing about. (You know........"b.s.").  For example, for my second interview at the job, I had to make a Powerpoint presentation about ways to improve student employee training or some other such thing.  I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about but I just made something up and presented it as if I was an expert on the topic (I was totally clueless, though).  And I got the job!  In the two years that I worked there, I was constantly up in front of a lot of people doing various presentations and pitching ideas and I rarely knew what the heck I was doing, but I am good at keeping a straight face and pretending to know what's going on.  My boss also used to compliment me on my tact as well and told me I would make a great HR person for those reasons (the tact and b.s. combined).  Nice.

(As a side note, I came up with [and implemented] a plan that saved the BYU Library $80,000 a year.  And for the record, I DID know what I was talking about for that one.  Thanks.)

Other talents include: having no reflexes in my knees (runs in the family), wiggling my ears, watching t.v., making Garrett's favorite cookies, making the bed, playing Tetris, and eating.

And to round out the talent portion, let me list a few things I'm horrible at.  Because let's face it, those are always more fun and interesting to read:

I am terrible at:

-jumping

-loading the dishwasher nicely

-drawing pictures, even stick figures

-riding a bike

-hiccuping (this seems strange I know, but Garrett HATES when I hiccup because he says I do it way too loudly.  I can't help it!  So, I'm including it on the list)

-folding fitted sheets

-most sports (I am good at watching, though)

-driving a stick shift

-doing lunges (exercises)

-making big decisions (like buying a car)

-roller skating

-keeping my face out of the cookie dough

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Up tomorrow: Favorite places to shop

Day 26 - Favorite books

I love to read, and there isn't much I love more than getting lost in a good book.  I love to have a good book waiting for me at the end of the day, and I love thinking about a book I'm reading during the day, anticipating the time when I can get some peace and quiet to read again.

Unfortunately, since moving to Virginia I haven't had a chance to get a library card yet, so I haven't read much lately.  However, there are some really great books that I don't mind reading over and over again, and they are:

*The Work and the Glory series (Mormon fiction books)
*"The Firm" by John Grisham
*The Hunger Games series is fantastic (strangely, I still haven't read the third book yet, though, but I will soon! Strange, because I was seriously obsessed when I read the first two books, and I started a countdown for the third book, but then got busy and stopped thinking about it.  Still excited to read it though, don't get me wrong.)
*Little House in the Big Woods series (I have a very old set of these books that I would love to get re-covered so they will last.  They are classics and I love them!)
*When I want a "beach" book (i.e., I mindless reading), I have enjoyed Sophie Kinsella's books (Shopaholic series.  The movie was actually okay too)
*books by Mary Higgins Clark are always good when I'm in the mood for a mystery
*Children of the Promise series is good too (another Mormon fiction series).  In fact I liked those books so much that I took a class at BYU that was taught by the author.  It turned out that the class was actually a lecture series, so he never really taught any lectures, but there were treats after every class so it was okay.

The lack of true "classics" on this list is kind of sad, but I'm okay with that.

I am always taking book recommendations, so load me up!

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Up tomorrow: Talents

Day 25 - Someone I judged by their first impression

I was supposed to post this yesterday but to be honest, this seems like a strange topic and I couldn't think of any examples.

I think we judge everyone by first impressions.  It's human nature to have instincts and opinions about people that we meet on the street or people who show up at our front door.  These instincts can keep us safe or warn us about possible threats or dangerous situations.  First impressions might not always be correct, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to go by our first impression.

It's when we refuse to keep an open mind that judging on first impressions becomes wrong.  If I come across someone who looks grungy and angry, my first impression is to stay away.  I judge (in my mind) that this is someone I don't want to associate with.  However, if for some reason I was forced to meet this person and talk with them, I try to keep an open mind and discover why they are the way that they are, and THEN I decide if I want to continue talking with them/getting to know them.  Sometimes our first impressions are correct, and sometimes they couldn't be more off.

Sometimes I think that when people first meet me, like at Church or something, their first impression might be that I am snobby (in fact, I know this is the case because someone once told me this).  I do not usually approach people I don't know and introduce myself and ask questions about them.  The real reason for this is that I'm kind of shy.  I get really insecure about myself when I am in situations where I don't know many people, so I keep to myself or to the people I know.  For example, if there is another mom at the park with her kids, I am not very likely to approach her and talk because I'm just shy.  It's too bad, too, because last week I was at a park in Richmond with the kids and another mom was there with her 3 kids.  About 20 minutes after our kids started playing together (and about 5 minutes before we left), I finally started talking to her and getting to know her.  Turns out she is LDS and we have a lot in common -- and I realize I missed an opportunity to really meet someone and get to know them.

So, I don't blame people for judging me on their first impression and thinking that I am snobby.  I hope people get over that first impression because I really am a great person to get to know (if I do say so myself), and I really appreciate when people approach me and spark up a conversation.  That being said, I'm trying to work on the way I come across when I first meet people, but it's not easy.

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Up tomorrow (or later tonight): Favorite books