I'm a loser

...losing weight, that is.

My first "weigh in" after Ellie was born was on August 1, 2009 - one year ago, so I thought it would be a good idea to see how I progressed over the last year.  I've been tracking it off and on over the last 12 months, but nothing consistent.

So, I've officially lost 26 pounds since 8/01/10.  I have mixed feelings about it... I mean, I feel great that I've lost that much weight.  I am pretty much down to the weight I was when I got pregnant with Ellie (I gained about 35-40 lbs by the end of my pregnancy, but I guess I lost 10-15 when she was first born.  Half of that was 100% baby, though :) ).  However, it's really frustrating that I've only lost 26 lbs in a year... I have worked SO HARD over the last 6 months especially, and I just don't understand why I can't lose more.  And, that 26 is a little misleading because it doesn't even represent weight I've lost working out... on average, I've only lost about 1.5 lbs per month.  I know that doesn't average out to be 26 pounds.. that's because I lost 8 lbs when I stopped nursing! (I hate when people say they lose weight like crazy when they are nursing.  It has always been the opposite for me.. my body keeps the pounds for some reason.  Frustrating.)

I began running and lifting weights a lot more in February, and I've only lost 8 lbs since then.  I know that muscle weighs more than fat, blah blah blah, but I still don't like it!

The only hang-up I can think of is my eating habits, but the honest truth is that I am very careful about what I eat.  I don't snack very much, and the extent of my "dessert" is usually 3-4 m&m's (Garrett brings home a pack every day... dang that free cafeteria food for doctors! haha).  My only real "weaknesses" are... bread (artisan! yum) and cheese.  I love cheese.  I love bread.  But other than that, I have no idea (portion control, maybe?).  I've been buying lots of fresh veggies and fruit, so I eat a lot of that, and we have been eating lots of brown rice, chicken, etc.  I also really, really like pita chips, but I only buy those once every couple of months. COME on!

I've tried counting calories, but it's so hard to find the right balance.  I'm working out a lot (average 6 times per week, sometimes more because I do it twice some days), and some websites say I should be eating 2000 calories for my activity level, others say I should be eating more or less than that.  It's hard to understand how many calories I should be eating in order to work out as much as I do, but also to lose the weight at the same time.

Anyway... I guess I'll just keep plugging away.  I love the way I'm feeling, I love having a healthy body, and I'm really glad I'm finally back in all my regular clothes.  I love being able to run a mile without getting out of breath, and being able to run 3+ miles without stopping to walk.  I'd just like to see a bit more progress on the scale...